


Far Away

by sg_wonderland



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-30
Updated: 2012-09-30
Packaged: 2017-11-15 08:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sg_wonderland/pseuds/sg_wonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel needs to reconnect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Far Away

I’m sure that I’ve felt this ineffective, this...stupid, sometime in my life. I just don’t remember it. I look around this room, unsure of how much of me is here and how much is Jonas. Would I know? Should I know? Should I recognize this piece? Or this one?

I don’t know, I simply do not know.

“Daniel Jackson.” I nearly fall off my stool as Teal’c glides silently to my side. “I am intruding.”

Without thought, I blurt out. “Did you all miss me?” That didn’t sound quite right. “Forget I said anything; that was stupid.”

“I am over one hundred years old, in your way of determining age.”

“That’s….wow....one hundred?” I’m not sure what to say.

“Over the years, I have known many warriors, made many friends. You are the dearest friend I have ever had.” I’m completely floored; all I can do is stare. “After you were gone, I told Major Carter that ascending was a great honor. It is something that no one I know, human or Jaffa, had ever accomplished. Her reply was that she would prefer to have had you back. That also was my wish.”

“And Jack?” I’ve been told repeatedly that he and I were the best of friends, but right now, I’m not feeling it.

“O’Neill pretended not to care that you were gone from his side. He grieved in silence.”

“I just…I’m having trouble getting my bearings, you know?”

“Yet, you stated in the gate room moments ago that your memories were returning.”

“They are, but they’re jumbled, in no particular order. I see events but I have no perspective, no frame of reference. I don’t know if this thing happened first or was a result of something else. I just don’t know.”

“I believe you push yourself too hard, Daniel Jackson. But that was always your way. When Colonel Carter and O’Neill became lost through the second gate, you deprived yourself of both rest and nourishment in a frenzied attempt to locate them and return them safely.”

“Did I?” That was a stupid question, they’re both here and alive, aren’t they?

“You did indeed. It was you who theorized the existence of the second gate. So you see, Daniel Jackson, you have been responsible for opening two gates here on Earth. A most auspicious undertaking, even for you.” That might actually be a smile on his face and I feel my lips quirk despite my current circumstances. “However, this is not the subject I wished to address. I come to offer to convey you to O’Neill’s home for dinner this evening.”

A nice thought, considering I have no vehicle, don’t really know if I could operate one if I did. Plus the fact that I’m quite hazy about where Jack’s house is actually located. I tell myself that I would recognize it if I saw it, I have a fuzzy memory of a pretty dark wood house with a very large door. “Thank you, Teal’c. I’d like that.”

“I also would like to offer my assistance in helping you obtain civilian clothing.”

I take a moment to catch my breath. “You…you want to take me shopping?”

“You need clothing. I am in a position to aid you. If you like, you may look at it as a return of a favor. When I was allowed off-base to explore your world, you and O’Neill accompanied me on just such an expedition. I have become quite an expert in selecting clothing appropriate for social occasions. It would honor me to assist you.”

“I appreciate the gesture, Teal’c, but I haven’t been declared legally un-dead yet. So I can’t access my bank accounts.”

“That presents no problem.” Teal’c takes my arm and gently tugs me to my feet, leading me to the door, turning the light out behind us. “I have a credit card that will allow me to purchase several thousands of dollars of merchandise at this time.”

I just stand there blinking as Teal’c gives me a lecture on the importance of maintaining a good credit record while we wait for the elevator.

*

“I find this ensemble most attractive, don’t you?” Teal’c gauges the owner’s opinion.

“Your eye is exquisite, Mr. Teal’c.” Somehow I got the impression that our shopping excursion would end up at Wal-Mart or the mall, not a men’s store. It was immediately apparent when we walked in the door that Teal’c was known and respected in this store. When I quizzed him as assistants scurried to provide us with refreshments, he replied that he had encountered difficulties in finding ready-made clothing that fit him and it was in fact O’Neill who had suggested a tailor. In a matter of minutes, I found myself agreeing to be fitted for a suit, and trying on several outfits at Teal’c and Grant’s insistence. “What is the occasion you are attending?”

”We are dining at the home of a friend.” Teal’c had already explained to Grant that I had recently returned from an overseas mission and my luggage had unfortunately been mishandled, leaving me with nothing except what I was standing in. It was quite literally the truth.

“A casual affair?”

”Very casual. Ties will not be required. However, I wish Daniel Jackson to be both comfortable and stylish. Do you like this outfit, Daniel Jackson?” 

I actually do, although I’m a bit unsure of my ability to do justice to three-hundred dollar jeans. They are comfortable, soft, already feeling well-worn. The sweater is plain, a soft golden-wheat that gives me a bit of color, something I realize I need every time I face a mirror. Teal’c takes my expression for approval. “Thank you, Mr. Grant. We will take these also,” he indicates an alarming pile of shirts, slacks, underwear, socks and sweaters. “Daniel Jackson will wear this outfit so you may also package the clothes he was wearing.”

“Very good, Mr. Teal’c; your taste is, as always, impeccable.”

“You may wait here, Daniel Jackson, while I settle my account.”

“Teal’c, that’s way over a thousand dollars of stuff there.” I am more than faintly uncomfortable with spending that much money in one sitting.

“And when you receive your back pay, you may repay me if that will make you happy. However, I would prefer to make this a gift to you. From one friend to another. Can you not accept that I can afford to do this and wish to do so?”

His tone expresses his supreme disappointment in me so I reluctantly acquiesce and meekly follow his suggestion that I wait for him in the truck. 

 

*

I wonder if Sam is always this affectionate. She flings herself in my arms, squeezes me nearly breathless, fusses with my hair and my sweater, proclaims I look great before dragging me through Jack’s eerily familiar house to the kitchen, where she gives me a soda. I frown, I’m pretty sure I’m over the age of consent, I point out. “Janet’s gonna be here. If she even gets a hint that you’ve had caffeine or liquor, she’ll bust your ass right back to the base.” I smile and wonder what I can use to disguise my cappuccino breath. 

“So, Dr. Fraiser’s coming?” I wonder with a bit of panic how many other folks are gonna show up here and expect me to know them.

I must wear this panic-stricken look a lot because Sam pats my arm, and assures me that besides she, Jack and Teal’c, the only other invited guests are the doctor and General Hammond, who are both thrilled to see me back. I’ll have to take her word for that. Dr. Fraiser seemed more concerned than anything but I later found out that I had ‘died’ rather gruesomely and she was worried about my health. And the general, well, I’m having a bit of trouble gauging his true reactions. I suppose he’s been a general so long he’s well used to wearing that military mask. When I ‘wandered’ into that briefing, I wasn’t entirely certain he wasn’t about to have me escorted back to my room. Or through the gate.

Sam notices that I’m just holding my drink. “Would you like some ice?”

“I can get it,” I reply absently, turning to open a cabinet and grasp a glass. I freeze, glass still in my hand when I realize what I just did.

“I haven’t moved them in seven years.” Jack is standing in the doorway with that inscrutable expression in eyes that aren’t unkind.

I suddenly realize that I don’t seem to be able to breathe; my panicked hand drops the glass, the sounds of it shattering like an explosion. Jack leaps forward and catches me as I drop, angling away from the shards of glass and dragging me into a chair, shoving my head to my knees. “Breathe, Daniel, just breathe.”

I can’t, I literally cannot breathe. Jack is rubbing my back, speaking softly to me. Peripherally, I’m aware that both Sam and Teal’c are there, trying to reassure me. Listening to me gasping for air, Jack thumps me on my back, hard enough for me to jump. And suddenly I can breathe again. “Oh, God, oh, God.” I murmur over and over when I finally find my voice.

“Take it easy, you’re safe, you’re safe.” I feel him ease my head back and a blessedly cold, wet cloth is on my forehead. “You all right?”

He would ask that, completely destroying any vestige of control I have left. “No,” I whisper, too shattered to form a lie. “Please, just for a minute, just…”

“We will not relinquish you, Daniel Jackson.” 

And I feel hands. Warm and steady on my face, small and strong on my knee, large and comforting on my back.

I just sit there for the longest time, basking in the warmth of a feeling I haven’t experienced in a very long time. I think I belong to these people.

**Author's Note:**

> This time, this place  
> Misused, mistakes  
> Too long, too late  
> Who was I to make you wait?  
> Just one chance, just one breath  
> Just in case there’s just one left  
> ‘Cause you know, you know, you know.
> 
> That I love you  
> I have loved you all along  
> And I miss you  
> Been far away for far too long  
> I keep dreaming you’ll be with me  
> And you’ll never go  
> Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore
> 
> On my knees, I’ll ask  
> Last chance for one last dance  
> ‘Cause with you, I’d withstand  
> All of Hell to hold your hand  
> I’d give it all  
> I’d give for us  
> Give anything but I won’t give up
> 
> I wanted  
> I wanted you to stay  
> ‘Cause I needed  
> I need to hear you say  
> “I love you  
> I have loved you all along  
> And I forgive you  
> For being away for far too long”
> 
> So keep breathing  
> ‘Cause I’m not leaving you anymore  
> Believe and hold on, hold on to me and never let me go  
> Hold on to me and never let me go-Nickelback


End file.
